By:Sydney Jackson
There are many things we tolerate in life. There are many things we consider “normal” or “alright.” The question is, are we actually alright? Usually, it feels like we are surrounded by people that keep conversation short when our emotional side peeks through. What may not be recognized by many is that being emotional with other people is very important when it comes to engaging with each other. Why is that? By being open and honest about our feelings, thoughts, and fears, we can express ourselves authentically and create a safe space for open and honest communication. In this day and age, teenagers are used to engaging online between text and social media. When having to communicate in person, face to face, it is easy to be closed off and uneasy to share how we really feel or to even speak our mind.
The science of it all: According to “Emotional Development HHS Office of Population Affairs,” our brain does not fully develop till our mid-twenties. The brain’s frontal lobe is in charge of reasoning, planning, and problem-solving. However, our frontal lobe is also trying to manage our emotions. Teenagers and adolescents may find it difficult to be vulnerable with others and understand the consequences of each's actions.
The science of it all: According to “Emotional Development HHS Office of Population Affairs,” our brain does not fully develop till our mid-twenties. The brain’s frontal lobe is in charge of reasoning, planning, and problem-solving. However, our frontal lobe is also trying to manage our emotions. Teenagers and adolescents may find it difficult to be vulnerable with others and understand the consequences of each's actions.
To get actual opinions or insight, seven different Sandia students and staff were interviewed, ranging from Freshman to Juniors and even teachers. Out of seven, five chose to not share their real name. There was definitely a variety of responses that represented emotionally open students and closed off students. One participant was very cold when asked how they feel about opening up at school. Whether it is easier or harder to open up at home or school, P.R. stated that it is “fine.” Nothing more, just... “fine.” They were also asked if they notice when a classmate is emotional. It's important as we age to show empathy to each other because it can help us understand what one is going through. P.R. Answered again, “no.” Trying to engage with this participant was very difficult, for they had no intentions of being vulnerable when asked questions about emotions.
It is understandable why teenagers aren't as emotional with their peers when they are closed off. Van Nguyen, a Freshman at Sandia High School, expressed that she doesn't like being very open at school mainly because the fear of “Being ridiculed for having those types of feelings or just not being understood. Emotionally it can affect someone's mental well-being.” Others perceive our body language which is equivalent to how we are around others. It is common for us to tend to have our guard sternly up. Which can be off putting during conversations or interactions. Some people get uncomfortable opening up, which is expected and okay. G.M. said, “I tend to feel embarrassed or like I'm being judged”.
Some believe how we judge others is how we judge ourselves. We need to be more kind to our own being and each other. Maybe then, and only then, we will be able to be emotionally open when communicating. Teachers and staff have similar feelings even as adults. It's not just the students, the teachers see it too. English, Yearbook and Journalism Teacher, Santana Zadel acknowledged “I think most teenagers live inside their own world and it takes some growth and learning to become empathetic. Some people take much longer to learn it, so even as adults it is a struggle sometimes."
If you ever feel like life is hard, your emotions have taken over, or you're tired of feeling alone: You're gonna be okay. You're not alone. Just you waking up everyday when things feel tough; showing up is a sign that you're fighting. The best thing about letting your emotions show is it's a reminder that you're still breathing. Martin Luther King Jr. once said "If you can't fly, then run. If you can't run, then walk. If you can't walk, then crawl, but whatever you do, you have to keep moving." Your peers feel it. Your Teachers feel it. Random people, you name it, we ALL feel it. Yeah, it's hard finding someone you can talk to, it's hard for them also. Be the person for others that you wish you had when you were struggling. Don’t hold things inside that need to be shared, it's not fair to you. Who knows, you might be that one person helping someone up that has fallen by just expressing that what we feel… is normal. You are one of many; It's time to talk about our emotion commotion. Admire the journey you've traveled, acknowledge that you're emotional. Like it was stated before, “We are all human.” We all bleed. If we didn't bleed, what would we even be?
It takes a person to start something, but it takes more than one to finish it. It takes you.
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